Falsas esperanzas

In gloom I took this unreturning road, rotted and thorny, would thy in splendour hung aloft the night, would I were steadfast as thou art

The hollowness spreads beneath me, turns over and rolls me in tight swallowing me alive. I know I am not even that attached, but the fact that somehow it's always him, as if his fate is sitting on the bedside table of God, simply played with and crushed if bored, it makes me wonder, makes me feel like the world is two shades darker and hopeless than it really should be.

I remember what it was like, kneeling down in front of an American flag every morning nine o'clock sharp, five minutes of naive repetitive words flew out of me in a messy way, melodiously starting with Dear Father and ending with Amen. Maybe I will do it again tonight.

Not for anyone, for the disastrous misfortunes, for the fear set alive again that I actually always carry deep inside my bones.